35 Years of Crazy Happiness

Wow - we have been married for 35 years! In case you don't know the story, we eloped to Agua Prieta, Mexico on January 14, 1974. Rick was 21. I was 16. My parents were livid. Rick didn't have in-laws for the first three years we were married. By the time my parents spoke to us again, we had two kids.

We have had some incredible ups and downs, but I wouldn't change a thing about my sweet hubbie and our relationship. He is my source of strength, and he is so good to me. I love having him be the father of our six kids and the grandfather of our 9-person munchkin crew!

Hello, Bedford Falls!

For years now, my favorite Christmas movie has been "It's a Wonderful Life." It's not just a cute movie, or a feel-good movie to me. From the first time I ever saw it, there was a profound message there that seemed to be meant for me personally. I never questioned the "why" of it - I just always enjoyed watching it several times during the Christmas season. It seems deeply significant to me that an ordinary guy can have his dreams repeatedly put on hold, then find one day that the life he was living was the very one that would ultimately save him, because he was in the right place, and more importantly, doing the right thing all along.

I didn't watch it this year. I just couldn't bring myself to sit down and see it again. We have had many, many blessings in our lives - always. But in November, a Mr.-Potter-like situation came along and broadsided us. The week before it happened, Rick was told that he would be taking a significant cut in pay. When he shared that with me, I took a deep breath and whispered a prayer in which I asked for one thing only - that I wouldn't have any fear. Faith and fear cannot co-exist, and I would rather opt for faith.

That prayer was answered with a profound sense of peace. The Spirit began to. . .I want to say whisper. . .but it was more like a friend's voice right there beside me. It was stronger than a whisper. And the fear fled.

Then the battle began.

Whitney and Joe were moving to their new home in Casa Grande and awaiting the news regarding the scheduling of Ariana's heart surgery. Suddenly, everything went into overdrive. The surgery was scheduled for the next week, the day after Joe's birthday, and just a few days into the move, which included painting, organizing, unpacking, painting some more, and the general exhaustion that always surrounds a move with a new baby who happens to have medical problems. I was down there helping out (note to Joe: thanks for keeping your panic at bay while I took over the paint roller. I know it makes you crazy, but I appreciate you not tying me up and throwing me in the closet). It was November 12, and we were putting together birthday stuff, trying to shop for Christmas, getting ready for the at-least-a-week in the hospital stay and trying not to think about what Ari was going to be going through. Needless to say, the stress level was pretty significant. Gabe and I were in the car on our way to Kohl's when the phone rang. It was Rick. The conversation was pretty amusing, actually, in retrospect.

Rick: Well, they laid me off.
Me: Quit lying - they did not.
Rick: Yah, they did.
Me: Stop it.
Rick: (Insert dead air here)
Me: You're not lying, are you?
Rick: Nope. (And then he told me the story, which I won't relate here, because bitterness tends to drive away faith too.)
Me: Oh. . .my.

It was a true "Mr. Potter" moment. You remember - right at Christmas time, during the happiest time of the year, Mr. Potter steals eight thousand dollars that Uncle Billy left on the table, and George Bailey gets caught in a web of circumstances that threaten to destroy him. That's how this felt. The day before Ari's surgery. . .and BOOM!

Here's the thing. Rick is good at insurance sales because he cares about people. That's it, pure and simple. Just like George Bailey, Rick puts people and their needs ahead of financial gain. In my book, that is a sure-fire recipe for success, because whatever you dish out is what's going to come back to you. As ye sow, so shall ye reap. And Rick has been reaping the fruits of hard work combined with compassion and care for the people he serves. That's the key. He doesn't sell anything - he serves. The sales follow, but they're not what his design is.

In the movie, George inherits a tattered angel. Well, I don't know of any of those who are hanging around here, but I do keep trying to remind Rick of all the good things about himself, so maybe I'm Clarence. You know, a little absent-minded, a little eccentric, and coincidentally, a reader of Mark Twain. Not that Rick needed to be saved from himself - he's pretty strong and very level-headed, and I'm sure glad, because losing a job suddenly can send some men into a tailspin. Remember the stories about Black Tuesday on the New York Stock Exchange in 1929? Guys go crazy when their jobs go away sometimes, and I'm glad that I didn't have to worry about that.

So here we are. There are supporting characters in the movie who bear a pretty striking resemblance to some of the folks in our lives. Sam Wainwright lives on in the form of my dad. George's brother Harry is personified in my kids, who figuratively flew through their own storms to come and offer sympathy, compassion, and concrete offers of ways they wanted to help. Ward and Brianne offered to pull up roots, move to Arizona, and get licensed to sell insurance, which I'm sure is the last career Ward would really want to pursue, but he was willing to do it for us. Whitney and Joe came up with suggestions about legal issues that we would probably not have considered without their ideas, and those are proving to be enormously helpful (plus they send daily pictures of Ari). Ridge just stepped up to the plate and decided that he was a grown man, perfectly capable of paying his own way - which he has been doing ever since he moved to Flagstaff anyway - but he has truly stepped away from the parents since November. Erica is communicating more with her dad, and Stephanie is also standing on her own. There has been a role reversal, and the kids are calling to check on us.

And the town of Bedford Falls, with all those people whom George Bailey helped? That would be Show Low, Arizona. People have offered office space, amazing encouragement, valid advice, shoulders to lean on, righteous indignation, prayers, blessings, and our names in the temple. There are good things bubbling right beneath the surface in this town where everyone knows everyone. We are surrounded by love and support. Hello, Bedford Falls! Hello, you old run-down Building and Loan!

In the final analysis, we aren't so different from the Baileys. I'll never look like Donna Reed did, but this isn't about contrasts, it's about comparisons. In his darkest hour, George was saved by the people he had saved. He was saved by his own good deeds and the very life he had lived. In the movie, we never see what became of Mr. Potter, and maybe that's for the best. To quote Mary Bailey - "Oh, who cares." George had a wife, mother, kids, brother, uncle, and an entire town full of people whose love was infinitely stronger than Mr. Potter's evil designs. As ye sow, so shall ye reap.

Today was our 35th wedding anniversary, and we decided that after dinner at Licano's (courtesy of Ridge's gift card from Christmas), we would go to the temple. Sitting in the celestial room together, the Spirit spoke again. We're all right - we're all right.

The Good-man Clan

I used to keep a journal. In fact, I have several of them that are completely full. Yes - well, that was before I went back to school and then. . .went back to school. Now my life is completely and wonderfully crazy. AND I own a really nice camera. So when the people from blogspot called me and asked me to create a special post, naturally I could only say yes.

OK, I gave up pathological lying several years ago. The fact is that this blog is my only hope of documenting the Goodman family for right now. Nobody from blogspot actually called me. Brianne has one of these and I get a kick out of following her story and seeing what's happening with some of her friends. I also have a facebook and myspace, but I'm not sure I can talk about that here, so here I go. . .

2008 in Review

Life was pretty much cruising along in the first part of the year, although I was having a challenging semester in the classroom. We were planning for Ridge's graduation from high school (and for those of you who haven't seen him since he was a kid, the answer is six-foot five and probably still growing):

That was in May, and by the way, it snowed on graduation night! It was a pretty poignant evening for me, since my baby was graduating and getting ready to leave home, which left Rick and me looking at an empty nest. Several of my soccer players were also graduating, and I had not only watched them grow up from kindergarten on, but I had coached them for four years. It was crazy to see them all marching up there to the stage in their Cougar green-and-gold caps and gowns.

Almost as soon as graduation was over, Ridge moved to Flagstaff and into the NAU dorms for the summer, I wish I had a picture of it, but I didn't get the new camera until a few days later. You'll have to picture it in your mind: The photo is a shot of me climbing the stairs in the dorm with a large, heavy box in my arms. I am red-faced and puffing, trying to keep up with Ridge, who is a flight ahead of me. Of course, as an incoming freshman, his room is on the THIRD floor, and it goes without saying that there are no elevators in the dorm. Goodness. . .

Here he is in his dorm room. I'm the one behind the camera, trying not to cry. It's kind of tough when your baby leaves home. Fortunately, we had the trip of a lifetime ahead of us!





In June, I had a great time in Idaho helping Brianne and Ward with some moving and other things they needed to do. Brianne was still in nursing school at BYU-Idaho, taking care of her sweet little munchkins, helping Ward finish his first spec house, doing 12-hour clinicals, taking her coursework, and just generally running on fumes. I got to spend two full weeks with them, and it was wonderful! I got to really try the new camera out.

That's Miss M.
Here is Carter-boy:
In the midst of all the hard work the kids were both doing (Ward was putting the finishing touches on the house and he took a quick trip to Michigan with his dad, brother, and grandfather), we took one afternoon and went to the park:I got home from Idaho just in time to wash the clothes (actually, Rick does all the laundry. Gosh, I love that man), re-pack, and head to the east coast for Ridge's trip. We started out in Philadelphia:

If you ever go to Philly, along with the historical sites (the picture on the left is of Independence Hall with the Liberty Bell in the foreground), you have to ride The Ducks and go to the Reading Terminal Market for a Philly Cheesesteak. We only spent one full day there, but it was amazing.

Next stop on the trip: Washington DC. In contrast to the hot-but-tolerable weather in Philadephia, DC was a wet, muggy furnace. That must have been OK with us, because we walked and walked and walked. Pioneer children sang as they walked. . .well, we didn't do much singing, but my spirit was doing the Hallalujah Chorus. I have always dreamed of going to DC and here we finally were.

One of the special treats on the trip was that Cindy and Troy and their kids drove down from Erie, Pennsylvania, to hang out for the Fourth of July. It was so incredible to see them!


We boarded the Amtrak again and headed for New York City. Now, I have to confess that when Ridge added the Big Apple to the itenerary, I wasn't completely thrilled. At the time, we were planning to rent a car to drive between cities, and the thought of navigating the streets of Manhattan scared the daylights out of me. But once we decided to take the train between cities, I got more excited about seeing the City that Never Sleeps.

We discovered that there were some few negatives about New York. For one, everything seemed dirty - especially the subways. The other negative probably made us aware of any other less-than-perfect aspects of the whole thing: the air conditioning in our room didn't work very well. So. . .when the train left us at Penn Station and we decided to walk the 10 blocks to our Greenwich Village inn, we were setting outselves up a little bit. By the time we got there, we (I) were so hot and sweaty and winded that it was hard to be excited. All I wanted to do was take a nap in the cool room, which wasn't so cool. Ridge had other ideas. He took off to explore. That was really scary for me, but Rick gave me one of "those" looks and just said, "Let him go." OK, OK. Ridge took off and then returned safely about 4 hours later, thoroughly integrated into New York City. He had bought a subway map and visited everyplace from Soho to Times Square to uptown 5th Avenue. At that point in the trip, I knew that we were no longer taking the lead. Ridge was the expert, and we spent the rest of that leg of the trip just following him. The highlights of the trip: MoMA (Museum of Modern Art), the requisite Central Park carriage ride, Times Square, Armani, FAO Schwartz, a Broadway production of the Lion King (an absolute must-see!), The Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island, being on TV courtesy of The Today Show, Greenwich Village and Washington Square, a tour of the NBC studios (and the SNL Live set), Rockerfeller Center, the Empire State Building, Macey's department store, the Central Park Zoo, a great deli and an adorable Italian restaurant in Greenwich Village, and the reconstruction at Ground Zero. Here are some of the photo highlights:



By the way - those negatives I was talking about earlier? well, the NY part of the trip was totally worth it. Next time, I'll just make sure we have decent air-conditioning!

One if by Land, Two if by Sea. . .

Next came Boston. After New York, we were pretty tired and needed a good room and some down time. We got both in Boston. It was wonderful. From the moment we walked into our (very clean, very air-conditioned, and very pretty) room, we were enchanted by Bean Town. We actually stayed in Cambridge, right on the Charles River. We walked the Freedom Trail and saw tons of history (and more than a little of the "National Treasure" sights). We ate (and ate and ate) at Quincy Market (where we were repeat offenders), walked around the Harvard area, spent plenty of time down at the wharf just relaxing, took a harbor cruise, took the ferry to Salem - the only disappointment of the trip for me - I was wanting all the history and instead got a huge dose of witchcraft kitschyness. In retrospect, I'm glad we went, but it was a lot like being close to the world's biggest candy store and only getting to stand in the entryway. We did see a good reenactment of the witch trials, but we missed seeing Gallows Hill and the actual cemeteries. For those of you who might not know, I taught English 11 for several years, and The Crucible was one of our big units. I got pretty well acquainted with the Salem witch trials, but since I'm a history major, I want the facts and places, not the tourist/Halloween version. Anyway, the rest of the visit to the area was really, really great. I could go back to Boston and spend more time easily.

We also went to church there and ran into Christian and Lacey Gentry, who graciously gave us a ride back to the hotel and then came and picked us up that evening, fed us warm brownies and ice cream, and then drove us to the Boston temple for an evening tour of the gardens. It was such a fun added bonus - thanks guys (and congratulations on your little guy - he looks like his daddy)!










We got home from the trip just in time for the very best part of summer:

Ariana Brielle Dorame

July 20, 2008

Joe's graduation from his MBA program was on July 19, which also happened to be Rick's birthday. We had a lovely evening watching him graduate (the keynote speaker was Graham Steadman. You know - Oprah's guy) and then going to Sopporo for dinner (teppan yaki and sushi - Ridge and Joe tried some absolutely disgusting stuff and kind of enjoyed it).

Joe had offered a prayer earlier that Ari would arrive soon, but hold off until after graduation. We got home from dinner at about 11:00 and we laid down. Whitney woke us up at about 2:00 and said that she thought she was truly in labor. We headed for the hospital, where they put her in triage and didn't get her into a room until 6:00. Our warrior princess went all-natural and Ariana was born at 8:10 a.m.



We were in the middle of some heavy-duty celebrating and thanks-giving. About an hour after Ari's birth, a sweet doctor and nurse came in and told us that they thought Ari had Down syndrome. It was a bit of a shock, but after a few minutes of taking it all in, the kids just took a deep breath and never looked back. One of my sweetest memories of the whole experience? When a sudden thought hit Whitney and she said with wonder and delight, "Joe - she is sealed to us!"

Down syndrome babies (see a later blog for information on this) tend to have heart problems, so they started running tests. Sure enough, Ari had an arterioventricular heart defect. This basically means that she was missing the wall in her heart that divides the two sides. She also had one valve where there should have been two. Because this condition can lead to congestive heart failure, they transferred her to Banner Desert's NICU unit.

Here she is in her Air-Evac beanie.

Although the heart problem was definitely an issue, Ari never developed the congestive heart failure. She went home just a few days later. It was clear that she would have to have surgery to repair her heart, but for the time being, she was holding her own without even any medication. She had spent some time under the bilirubin lights, and we have some great pictures of her "sun-bathing" - which I will have to locate.

The end of July saw me starting a "new" job. I moved out of the classroom and into the new district Curriculum office. I am working as the (grades) 7-12 curriculum specialist for the district. It is way different from teaching, but I am really loving it. I thoroughly enjoy the ladies I work with and I feel like we are helping the teachers. There were some situations in the district that were creating lots of stress and unnecessary work for the teachers, and we have spent the past few months trying to remedy some of those things. I think that we have done a pretty good job of it, and it is a rewarding feeling.

Joe gave Ariana her name and blessing in August, and we had a great surprise. It was late on Friday night and we were at Whitney and Joe's house in Mesa. Ridge and Whitney had gone to the grocery store for some goodies, and when they returned, they walked in the front door and Whitney said later that she was wondering what was going on. There were all these extra people in her living room, and the one closest to her on the couch with his back to her looked like Ward. And the little boy sitting on the man's lap looked like Carter. I was watching Whitney's reaction the whole time and when she realized that it really was Ward and Brianne, she really got emotional. There were lots of hugs and kisses all around. We got to spend a great weekend together and it was wonderful to hear the blessing Joe gave Ariana. The other really nice thing about it was that it was Uncle Ridge's first experience to stand in on a blessing, since he was ordained an elder just a couple of months earlier.

We have such a good time when we're together! Someone got the camera and took pictures of us girls together. We always laugh about how the girls all have my feet - sausage toes and all.




Here are pictures from the blessing day:







After the blessing, Ward and Brianne came to Show Low for a few days and we got to have a family cookout.


September kind of clocked by, but I did get some good pictures of Zoey and Dominik when they came over here for one of Dominik's football games:





In October, I flew up to Idaho for Carter's 3rd birthday and some good opportunities for photo ops in the BYU-Idaho picture gardens:




Also in October, we went to our first Buddy Walk. This is a fun event that is put on by Sharing Down Syndrome Arizona and it is held in Tempe. It was a wonderful day of games, music, food, pony rides, balloons, and a short walk that everyone does with cheerleaders (and the Phoenix Suns' Gorilla) posted all along the way to encourage these kids and their families.


There was a time when babies who were born with Down syndrome were not given much hope and most did not live to be very old. Thankfully, we know more about the syndrome now, and we understand that these kids can meet a great deal of potential. At the Buddy Walk, we saw one sweet little lady who was 63 years old. If you look at this picture closely, you will see her to the right of Joe - she's the one in the pink running outfit. She was tiny and oh-so-sweet.


In the picture on the right is a little boy that I wanted to wrap up and take home with me. He was absolutely adorable and he was completely smitten with Ari. Well, so are we! The little girl on the left was one of my favorites for the day. She was just having such a great time dancing and you could see complete joy on her face.

In the early fall, we had Grandpa Allen here for a visit, and we took him to Big Lake. By this time, Gabe had moved in with us, and we were busy getting him settled in, shuffling rooms, and creating space for an office.




On November 13, our Ariana angel baby had her surgery. Our many fervent prayers were answered and the surgery was successful. It was one of the most stressful things I have ever been through in a good many years. It was heart-breaking to hear Ari cry and know that she was in pain a couple of times, but that was tempered by the fact that she had a priesthood blessing by her Daddy and Papa. It was also amazing to see the medical technology and the incredible skills and training of the doctors and the nurses who take care of these little babies. On the night of her surgery, Ari came back to her room with two IV poles that each had four machines attached, with another two machines on her bed. She had a large patch on her forehead that measured the oxygen levels in her brain, IVs in each arm and each leg, a chest drainage tube, electrodes taped to her chest and leads that went into her chest (I think), sets of rubber "hands" that kept all the tubes and leads straightened out, banks of catheters that kept her IV lines clean and flushed and ready to use, a ventilator (which she got off of the next day), and an adult-sized bed to hold it all. My estimate is that the equipment weighed at least 25 times as much as she did, and it certainly took up that much more space. Here are some pictures that show the progression of the post-surgery events and how quickly she started looking better:







Our Ariana soldier made a land-speed-record recovery and went home in one week. The charge nurse said that it was the fastest discharge she has had in that unit.

The day before the surgery, Rick lost his job, and that has been an interesting situation for us, but we are being blessed. The blog above this one talks about that. The rest of the year really flew by and we have busy, happy lives. We have so much to be grateful for!!

Thanksgiving

We have so much to be thankful for! We had Thanksgiving at Whitney and Joe's house. Ward and Brianne were down and Joe's family was there as well. I discovered that I only thought I could cook a turkey - Joe's mom, Elvia, makes the best turkey I've ever tasted! We did get some fun pictures:

Announcing: The new nurse in the family!!

On December 11, Brianne finished the nursing program at BYU-Idaho and had her pinning ceremony. This event was the capstone of four or five years of hard work during which time Ward received his Bachelor's degree in Construction Management and Brianne completed her RN requirements. We drove up for her pinning ceremony and we are so proud of her. It's tough enough to finish school in the early years or even as a single, but for both of these kids to complete school while raising their little family is an incredible accomplishment. The icing on the cake? She has been hired by Huntsman Cancer Institute in Salt Lake City. She'll complete a paid internship there which will give her a fantastic resume and some wonderful experience. They have bought a home in the Holladay area of Salt Lake City. We are tickled pink that they will be 3 hours closer to us!

I didn't get any pictures at Christmas time - what was I thinking?! But here are some random pictures from throughout the year that I really like: